is here
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Monday, April 30, 2007
Happy Holidays!
I think I am suffering from ‘I wish I was still on holidays lying on a beach and not at work sitting at a desk’ syndrome. Not only do I lack the basic ambition to get out of bed for work in the morning but also the motivation to write about my trip back to Oz for it will be so so long and I am so so lazy. I will try my darndest (way to American for me) to encapsulate something worth reading for you all.
Note: To make this post look longer I will strategically insert pictures for viewing. Remember – A picture tells a thousand words so this post could well be nearing 5-10 thousand words in length. Woooaaah!! Yes, thank you!
Hmmm…
Note: To make this post look longer I will strategically insert pictures for viewing. Remember – A picture tells a thousand words so this post could well be nearing 5-10 thousand words in length. Woooaaah!! Yes, thank you!
Hmmm…
This first picture was supposed to be classical. You know, an intriguing piece of mastery where you see me in the rear view mirror and my friend Dave*, however, it failed quite miserably thanks to his girlfriend Bec** who suggested such a preposterous idea.
This is the famous ‘loo with a view’ I have mentioned in prior posts. The view is beautiful and the people warm and friendly. It was a delightful 28C/87F. To the right of the picture is the loo. Btw – I have no idea how I managed to capture probably the only 4 people on the Queensland coast who thought it was a good idea to wear a suit to the beach. Anyhoo…
White sand and blue oceans is what it’s all about. Oh, and I promise I wasn’t taking a picture of that topless girl. Although that certainly was one of the beaches perks^.
Delectable desserts are always a fan fav! My friends who had me over for dinner that night know of my notorious sweet tooth and knew no matter what the night would bring, it would be A-OKAY if there was chocolate involved. They get an A+ for hospitality. Anything with chocolate involved will have me begging for more! Note to ladies: Anything with chocolate involved is going to get you in. Give me an m&m and im yours.
The Valley Markets are a great place to be after a rather big night out on the drink and you would like something, anything to get you out of the house the next day. There are lots of trinkets, clothes, jewelry, old vinyl’s and random stuff to buy. This is also the location of many a good nights out as once the sun goes down this place turns in to a melting pot of artsy, fartsy piss heads and non-prescription drug users.
This is my friend Sam*** who I would show but I think its better left that we don’t. Basically, if you take away the bag she pretty much looks like what the bag has drawn on it^^
I played putt-putt (miniature golf) with the couple who cooked me dinner with the fondue ( I have more then 2 friends, believe it or not) and at the 16th hole they have this for the golfers who arnt doing as good as they had hoped. I thought it was pretty stupid. They should have one at every hole.
So there you have it. I have some phrases those cuddly lil aussies fart out of their mouths which I shall post later in thy week. Stay tuned..
*This is his real name
** so is this
^ No pun intended
*** Real name
^^ Sorry Sam
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
patience
I kiss my family goodbye. I turn around. There it is. Looking at the very Gate I stood before only 15 months ago. This time I know where im going. What im going back to. Who is there and what ill be doing. Strangely familiar. Bubbling to see Louie and the boys. There is a sense of relief to be going home. How peculiar to say when this was home, now a holiday destination. Odd return home. But I am going home too. Was I home or am I going home? Surreal reversal. Two homes. One residence. Yearning for stability. Hoping for change. What next? Changing tides bring different circumstances. More paths. More decisions. Pick a path. Pick a destiny. Open your eyes. Look up. See yourself. Its all there. decisions.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Hi!
Im back folks! Yes I know, I did not write a single post during my stay down under and for that I am sorry. I will post pics and share my traveling diaries with you when I get some time.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Ready....set....GO!
Today is my last day at work before I make the long and arduous trip back to Brisbane. I have ahead of me a 1 ½ hour drive to San Francisco, 12 hour flight to Sydney and then a 1 ½ hour flight to Brisbane.
Hopefully I can get some sleep on the flight over (With the amount of sleeping pills I have packed I hope they wake me before they land!).
I love traveling from country to country and meeting new people. In an airport you could be meeting someone from anywhere in the world so I find it quite interesting and energizing to have people excited to talk to me about where im from or where they’re from.
Or plugging my Ipod in and ‘people watch’ for hours until my plane takes off. Seems very boring but I find it relaxing and a time to think about everything.
I need some time think.
I will endeavor to post throughout my stay in Australia so stay tuned, there will be some stories you will not want to miss come of this vacation.
Hopefully I can get some sleep on the flight over (With the amount of sleeping pills I have packed I hope they wake me before they land!).
I love traveling from country to country and meeting new people. In an airport you could be meeting someone from anywhere in the world so I find it quite interesting and energizing to have people excited to talk to me about where im from or where they’re from.
Or plugging my Ipod in and ‘people watch’ for hours until my plane takes off. Seems very boring but I find it relaxing and a time to think about everything.
I need some time think.
I will endeavor to post throughout my stay in Australia so stay tuned, there will be some stories you will not want to miss come of this vacation.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Hollywood here I come?
Im thinking about moving. The bright lights and warm nights of LA are appealing to my inner senses. The urge to pack my bags, sell my house and make the road trip down there is becoming increasingly overwhelming.
There are a few things that stand in my way and its you who I choose to help me. If you so choose to accept my challenge I expect nothing other then an honest and fair opinion.
I have lived in Sacramento for about 14 months. I have a house with a dog and cat so its not going to be easy to just up and move (keep that in consideration). My house is fully furnished and I just bought a bike and a car. Work is great, kinda. See, the housing/real estate industry is very quiet right now and I am becoming bored with my position. I’ve never been one to stand around and wait for things to happen, I make them happen. Other then the fact that I have a pretty good job and the benefits could potentially be limitless due to me working for my cousins, I have options that most employees don’t, there really isn’t anything for me here in Sacramento.
Sacramento is a great city. I was born here some 25 years ago. I have some family here that I see, rarely, except for my grandparents and two cousins who I see often but other then that I don’t really know many people here, there’s not a great deal to do and overall im getting pretty bored. I guess the main thing is work is slow which is having a domino effect on the rest of my life.
North Hollywood, which is where I am planning to move if I do indeed blow this pop stand, is a great location. I know people down there, its close to the beach which I sorely miss, close to a lot of things to do and allows me to meet people more my own age and go out a little more.
Career wise it would be a hit. I probably wouldn’t be working in the same industry nor would I have anywhere near the benefits but I would/may be happier.
One option I would like to throw out there is to negotiate a deal with my cousins that would allow me to come back to my job in a couple of years when the industry picks up and spend those down years gaining experience in LA.
The grass is always greener. That damn philosophy gets me every time. This is one instance where the grass on the other side may be dead but I kinda wanna find out.
There are a few things that stand in my way and its you who I choose to help me. If you so choose to accept my challenge I expect nothing other then an honest and fair opinion.
I have lived in Sacramento for about 14 months. I have a house with a dog and cat so its not going to be easy to just up and move (keep that in consideration). My house is fully furnished and I just bought a bike and a car. Work is great, kinda. See, the housing/real estate industry is very quiet right now and I am becoming bored with my position. I’ve never been one to stand around and wait for things to happen, I make them happen. Other then the fact that I have a pretty good job and the benefits could potentially be limitless due to me working for my cousins, I have options that most employees don’t, there really isn’t anything for me here in Sacramento.
Sacramento is a great city. I was born here some 25 years ago. I have some family here that I see, rarely, except for my grandparents and two cousins who I see often but other then that I don’t really know many people here, there’s not a great deal to do and overall im getting pretty bored. I guess the main thing is work is slow which is having a domino effect on the rest of my life.
North Hollywood, which is where I am planning to move if I do indeed blow this pop stand, is a great location. I know people down there, its close to the beach which I sorely miss, close to a lot of things to do and allows me to meet people more my own age and go out a little more.
Career wise it would be a hit. I probably wouldn’t be working in the same industry nor would I have anywhere near the benefits but I would/may be happier.
One option I would like to throw out there is to negotiate a deal with my cousins that would allow me to come back to my job in a couple of years when the industry picks up and spend those down years gaining experience in LA.
The grass is always greener. That damn philosophy gets me every time. This is one instance where the grass on the other side may be dead but I kinda wanna find out.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
get a bike
There have been a lot of underhanded, sly, tricky and sarcastic comments related to and based solely on my decision to have a motorbike. Let me start by saying I think everyone should have a bike. Yep, I said it. You all should have a moped, crotch rocket, dirt bike or motorized scooter, anything that blows wind in your face. Why? Read on…
Remember when you were a kid and you would ride your bicycle or be swung around in the air by an uncle, parent or friend? How invigorating that was. It was such an adrenalin rush and then one day you can’t do it anymore. You’re too big to be swung around, your bicycle is too slow to really quench that rush and you’re stuck in the daily grind of everyday life.
You look for other things to quell the urge for adrenalin. Clubs, dates, surfing, movies, camping, sky diving and climbing. Some more dangerous then others. Some less rewarding too. Others far too often resulting in pushing the limits to exhaustion, injury or death but always searching for that elusive high.
I found my high in basketball, both played and watched. To this day there is nothing more rewarding then playing for a team and working towards a championship. The adrenalin pumping through is enough to satisfy any extreme sport fanatic but the older you get the less committed you and your teammates become. It’s harder to get to that place where you push for that life long rush.
I have spent years chasing the ultimate rush through sports, sky diving, traveling, fast cars, spending money, going to clubs, drugs and many other activities but nothing will ever give the ultimate high that im chasing. I’ve done some pretty spectacular things that have given me a rush I can’t describe but the ultimate is unattainable.
Wouldn’t it be incredible to have something that could give you an adrenalin rush at any time, whenever you wanted? When I know im going to ride my bike I get butterflies in my stomach, when im on my bike it gives a euphoric sense of being.
Find your youthfulness, get a bike
Remember when you were a kid and you would ride your bicycle or be swung around in the air by an uncle, parent or friend? How invigorating that was. It was such an adrenalin rush and then one day you can’t do it anymore. You’re too big to be swung around, your bicycle is too slow to really quench that rush and you’re stuck in the daily grind of everyday life.
You look for other things to quell the urge for adrenalin. Clubs, dates, surfing, movies, camping, sky diving and climbing. Some more dangerous then others. Some less rewarding too. Others far too often resulting in pushing the limits to exhaustion, injury or death but always searching for that elusive high.
I found my high in basketball, both played and watched. To this day there is nothing more rewarding then playing for a team and working towards a championship. The adrenalin pumping through is enough to satisfy any extreme sport fanatic but the older you get the less committed you and your teammates become. It’s harder to get to that place where you push for that life long rush.
I have spent years chasing the ultimate rush through sports, sky diving, traveling, fast cars, spending money, going to clubs, drugs and many other activities but nothing will ever give the ultimate high that im chasing. I’ve done some pretty spectacular things that have given me a rush I can’t describe but the ultimate is unattainable.
Wouldn’t it be incredible to have something that could give you an adrenalin rush at any time, whenever you wanted? When I know im going to ride my bike I get butterflies in my stomach, when im on my bike it gives a euphoric sense of being.
Find your youthfulness, get a bike
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Aussie Invasion
It feels good to be back at work, kinda. Well not really, but it makes me feel like I enjoy work more when I try and convince myself that work is indeed a good place to be during the day when the weather is perfect outside. I try and rationalize things sometimes with bogus statements such as ‘id rather be educating myself at work then sitting in the sun watching beautiful women walk past in bikini’s’. Obviously, they have no ground to stand on. I pitifully digress.
Anyway, I say this because I have just come back from a long weekend with five friends who flew over from Australia to see me. All very impressive when you consider the flight time, money and bother so for these guys to be friends 6 though 10 to have visited me since moving here I am very lucky. For those who have not visited me yet I am very disappointed in you and for the few who TRULY should have been here by now, shame on you!
The boys kept me very entertained throughout the 5 days they were here (they didn’t just fly to Cali for 5 days; they also spent some time in Mexico and are currently in transit to Hong Kong) with old stories and random ramblings.
Things said that kept me laughing in fits:
* “I need to drop the kids off”, “The kids are knocking” – None of my friends have ‘Kids’ in the context that you and I would associate the word with. ‘Kids’ refers to, in this case, going to the bathroom and doing a number ‘2’. Somehow, somewhere along my many years spent in Australia I seemed to of missed this term. Dropping the kids off is Australian for ‘I need to take a shit’.
* “When you get to ‘The Park’ (nightclub) just talk really loud, the ladies will then form a circle around us. They can’t get enough of the accents” I said. Skywalker (who I shall name) then continued “oh mate, I just have to tell them im a dolphin trainer or kangaroo catcher or pro surfer and they’ll drop their pants”.
* We were driving back from San Francisco in our family van that we rented and were talking about sending cars back to Australia and how if you did, you would have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car which would incur some costly fees.
One of our friends has lapses of intelligence sometimes so we thought we would run with this a little bit. “Mate, not only do you have to change the cars over but you have to change the motorbikes too. Its bloody ridiculous, you gotta swap the front tire with the back one, turn the single headlight upside down and swap handlebars over” I mischievously bantered.
Tabloids (who I shall name) was stirring over what we were discussing, obviously pondering the authenticity of it all but not sure enough to disagree. We then continued “Also, isn’t it stupid how when you change states in Australia you need to change currency from Queensland dollars to New South Wales dollars, its fuckin dumb don’t ya reckon Tabloids?”. He sat there for a few seconds and said “I don’t get it, what the fuck are you’s on about?”. We continued to tell him that to change states you must also change currency and I finally said “Tabloids, do you not think you have to change currency from state to state? And he followed up with the priceless line “Fuck mate, obviously!”.
* Also on the trip back from San Fran, Honkers (who I shall name) was tossing some numbers around his head for a while and finally came out with ‘iv been doing some thinking and I don’t think our flight leaves at 1pm tomorrow. It just doesn’t make sense if we are to land there at 6am”. Natedogg (who I shall name) who was in charge of organizing all flights, times and travel arrangements piped up with “oooh, now that you mention it, I did see 1am” what followed was a chorus of boos. Needless to say upon arrival they had to pack their bags and rush out the door for the drive BACK to San Francisco for a 1am flight to Hong Kong.
They spent two hours driving to San Francisco yesterday morning, two back to Sacramento in the afternoon, two again to Frisco and then a 14 hour flight and then the day they land there is a $250 lunch for them at a conference with free alcohol. I cant wait to hear how that goes!
* I took the boys to ‘Ruth Chris Steak House’ one of the finest establishments in the Sacramento Area. The first thing out of Tabloids mouth in front of our server was “I think my credit card is maxed out fellas, you’s wanna cover me”.
That was a snippet of the goings on of our long weekend. I think we all had an absoluate ball and I cant wait to do it again. Have fun in Hong Kong boys and I will see you all (except Honkers) in Australia in 8 days!
Anyway, I say this because I have just come back from a long weekend with five friends who flew over from Australia to see me. All very impressive when you consider the flight time, money and bother so for these guys to be friends 6 though 10 to have visited me since moving here I am very lucky. For those who have not visited me yet I am very disappointed in you and for the few who TRULY should have been here by now, shame on you!
The boys kept me very entertained throughout the 5 days they were here (they didn’t just fly to Cali for 5 days; they also spent some time in Mexico and are currently in transit to Hong Kong) with old stories and random ramblings.
Things said that kept me laughing in fits:
* “I need to drop the kids off”, “The kids are knocking” – None of my friends have ‘Kids’ in the context that you and I would associate the word with. ‘Kids’ refers to, in this case, going to the bathroom and doing a number ‘2’. Somehow, somewhere along my many years spent in Australia I seemed to of missed this term. Dropping the kids off is Australian for ‘I need to take a shit’.
* “When you get to ‘The Park’ (nightclub) just talk really loud, the ladies will then form a circle around us. They can’t get enough of the accents” I said. Skywalker (who I shall name) then continued “oh mate, I just have to tell them im a dolphin trainer or kangaroo catcher or pro surfer and they’ll drop their pants”.
* We were driving back from San Francisco in our family van that we rented and were talking about sending cars back to Australia and how if you did, you would have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car which would incur some costly fees.
One of our friends has lapses of intelligence sometimes so we thought we would run with this a little bit. “Mate, not only do you have to change the cars over but you have to change the motorbikes too. Its bloody ridiculous, you gotta swap the front tire with the back one, turn the single headlight upside down and swap handlebars over” I mischievously bantered.
Tabloids (who I shall name) was stirring over what we were discussing, obviously pondering the authenticity of it all but not sure enough to disagree. We then continued “Also, isn’t it stupid how when you change states in Australia you need to change currency from Queensland dollars to New South Wales dollars, its fuckin dumb don’t ya reckon Tabloids?”. He sat there for a few seconds and said “I don’t get it, what the fuck are you’s on about?”. We continued to tell him that to change states you must also change currency and I finally said “Tabloids, do you not think you have to change currency from state to state? And he followed up with the priceless line “Fuck mate, obviously!”.
* Also on the trip back from San Fran, Honkers (who I shall name) was tossing some numbers around his head for a while and finally came out with ‘iv been doing some thinking and I don’t think our flight leaves at 1pm tomorrow. It just doesn’t make sense if we are to land there at 6am”. Natedogg (who I shall name) who was in charge of organizing all flights, times and travel arrangements piped up with “oooh, now that you mention it, I did see 1am” what followed was a chorus of boos. Needless to say upon arrival they had to pack their bags and rush out the door for the drive BACK to San Francisco for a 1am flight to Hong Kong.
They spent two hours driving to San Francisco yesterday morning, two back to Sacramento in the afternoon, two again to Frisco and then a 14 hour flight and then the day they land there is a $250 lunch for them at a conference with free alcohol. I cant wait to hear how that goes!
* I took the boys to ‘Ruth Chris Steak House’ one of the finest establishments in the Sacramento Area. The first thing out of Tabloids mouth in front of our server was “I think my credit card is maxed out fellas, you’s wanna cover me”.
That was a snippet of the goings on of our long weekend. I think we all had an absoluate ball and I cant wait to do it again. Have fun in Hong Kong boys and I will see you all (except Honkers) in Australia in 8 days!
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Australian FAQ's
Below me are the 10 most frequently asked questions I get asked here in the States. You lot here are very quick to spot an Australian and the very moment you snitch me out you invariably always have one of the following questions for me.
“Do you Surf?” No I don’t but if you are hot, yes I do. This stereotype that people have with Australians and surfing is so far engrained in these people’s heads I feel like I should be walking with a surfboard and driving a 67’ V-dub. I mean, I shamelessly tan to keep up with their constant you-must-be-dark-cuz-you-surf mantra. *sigh*. I think California Sun Centers secretly pays people around me so I will tan religiously and uphold my monthly monetary deduction for their services.
“Oh your Australian? It would be so cool to see Kangaroos just hoping around.” I know this isn’t a question but it shits me more then Mijo leaving a dirty shit of his own on my expensive wooden floor. The fact is I have never seen a kangaroo or Koala or Emu or fuckin wombat anywhere other then a fuckin zoo. Actually that’s a lie. I have seen maybe 4-5 kangaroos while driving but they have all had their brains scattered across the footpath from previous motorists who probably were Americans trying to get a picture of them.
“Is your money really plastic?” Yes it is. Pretty cool huh? And no you cant rip it, even if you try to. It can be annoying at times though because it doesn’t fold easily, however, if you wash your jeans with a 20 in the pocket it’s good to go straight away. I do prefer the greenback’s though. Too much coinage in Australia.
“Do you eat vegemite all day?” Oh yeah, that’s all we aussies do all day is stuff our pie hole’s with black stanky, gel like muck that tastes absolutely horrid and smells even worse. If I had to eat that sherm all day id rather up and move to France where they eat brains and frogs legs. Atleast that has some sort of nutritional goodness and don’t let those hobo Australians tell you that crap has Vitamin D in it, I could give you something that has a lot more. if you know what I mean.
“What kind of money do you use?” I am American but I also consider myself Australian but deep down if I had to pick, I would say im American. So it deeply troubles me that Americans are so self-absorbed that they know nothing that happens around them but for their own country. The news has nothing of world events. Even your NBC world news is only called ‘World News’ because its based on news from Afghanistan and Iraq which focuses on the States being in the middle east. Com’on people! Educate yourselves on something other then what your neighbor is doing.
We use the Australian dollar. Our Prime Minister (not President) is John Howard and we have summer when you have winter. Got it? Gotcha!
“What’s the outback like?” About as boring as South Dakota only a lot more alcohol and bugs that can kill you. There is a big rock out there too that you can’t miss unless your blind and even then you’ll probably bang in to it.
“Crikey mate!” You have to imagine saying it with a funny American accent, much more like, “criky mouyte”. I also realize this isn’t a question but you would be AMAZED at how often I hear this phrase even when no one is talking to me. Ill be sitting at my desk and ill hear a “criky mouyte!” for no apparent reason. Ill pop and say ‘hey dude, like, shut the fuck up. Ok?” in my superfluous American accent.
“Do you guys drink Foster’s?” That would be a no. Why? Because they don’t fuckin sell it in Australia. What? Aaah,Yes! Fosters is probably the hardest beer to find in Australia. That doesn’t make sense?? Yes it does. Fosters is not “Australian for beer’ its ‘Australian for shit beer’. Australians drink much classier beer such as VB (better known as Vaginal backwash) and XXXX (Four X – not porn related).
“Do you know Steve Irwin?” uuuh no. He’s dead and I didn’t know him when he was alive. Why would I? Do you know Michael Jackson, Madonna or Tom Cruise? No. Granted, their aren’t an influx of famous people from Australia but that doesn’t mean that I do know the ones who are.
“Can you guys drink as much as we think you can?” This is a very interesting question. There are so many levels for which to answer this on. First of all, id love to see what they are watching to see this behavior because if its any kind of Australian football or sporting event of any kind really, they are probably getting a pretty good glimpse at how much Australians can really drink. They get belligerent, distasteful and aggressive and are supremely proud of it. The British can probably down a little more then the casual Aussie but you will be hard pressed to drink one under the table because even if they think they will lose, they wont stop. They will drink till their hand can’t lift another beer to their mouth and all the while ranting “Aussie, Aussie, Aussie. Oi, Oi ,Oi!!”.
I can’t wait to go back to Australia (2 weeks) and share with you all the 10 most frequently asked questions I get from Australians about the States.
Peace!
“Do you Surf?” No I don’t but if you are hot, yes I do. This stereotype that people have with Australians and surfing is so far engrained in these people’s heads I feel like I should be walking with a surfboard and driving a 67’ V-dub. I mean, I shamelessly tan to keep up with their constant you-must-be-dark-cuz-you-surf mantra. *sigh*. I think California Sun Centers secretly pays people around me so I will tan religiously and uphold my monthly monetary deduction for their services.
“Oh your Australian? It would be so cool to see Kangaroos just hoping around.” I know this isn’t a question but it shits me more then Mijo leaving a dirty shit of his own on my expensive wooden floor. The fact is I have never seen a kangaroo or Koala or Emu or fuckin wombat anywhere other then a fuckin zoo. Actually that’s a lie. I have seen maybe 4-5 kangaroos while driving but they have all had their brains scattered across the footpath from previous motorists who probably were Americans trying to get a picture of them.
“Is your money really plastic?” Yes it is. Pretty cool huh? And no you cant rip it, even if you try to. It can be annoying at times though because it doesn’t fold easily, however, if you wash your jeans with a 20 in the pocket it’s good to go straight away. I do prefer the greenback’s though. Too much coinage in Australia.
“Do you eat vegemite all day?” Oh yeah, that’s all we aussies do all day is stuff our pie hole’s with black stanky, gel like muck that tastes absolutely horrid and smells even worse. If I had to eat that sherm all day id rather up and move to France where they eat brains and frogs legs. Atleast that has some sort of nutritional goodness and don’t let those hobo Australians tell you that crap has Vitamin D in it, I could give you something that has a lot more. if you know what I mean.
“What kind of money do you use?” I am American but I also consider myself Australian but deep down if I had to pick, I would say im American. So it deeply troubles me that Americans are so self-absorbed that they know nothing that happens around them but for their own country. The news has nothing of world events. Even your NBC world news is only called ‘World News’ because its based on news from Afghanistan and Iraq which focuses on the States being in the middle east. Com’on people! Educate yourselves on something other then what your neighbor is doing.
We use the Australian dollar. Our Prime Minister (not President) is John Howard and we have summer when you have winter. Got it? Gotcha!
“What’s the outback like?” About as boring as South Dakota only a lot more alcohol and bugs that can kill you. There is a big rock out there too that you can’t miss unless your blind and even then you’ll probably bang in to it.
“Crikey mate!” You have to imagine saying it with a funny American accent, much more like, “criky mouyte”. I also realize this isn’t a question but you would be AMAZED at how often I hear this phrase even when no one is talking to me. Ill be sitting at my desk and ill hear a “criky mouyte!” for no apparent reason. Ill pop and say ‘hey dude, like, shut the fuck up. Ok?” in my superfluous American accent.
“Do you guys drink Foster’s?” That would be a no. Why? Because they don’t fuckin sell it in Australia. What? Aaah,Yes! Fosters is probably the hardest beer to find in Australia. That doesn’t make sense?? Yes it does. Fosters is not “Australian for beer’ its ‘Australian for shit beer’. Australians drink much classier beer such as VB (better known as Vaginal backwash) and XXXX (Four X – not porn related).
“Do you know Steve Irwin?” uuuh no. He’s dead and I didn’t know him when he was alive. Why would I? Do you know Michael Jackson, Madonna or Tom Cruise? No. Granted, their aren’t an influx of famous people from Australia but that doesn’t mean that I do know the ones who are.
“Can you guys drink as much as we think you can?” This is a very interesting question. There are so many levels for which to answer this on. First of all, id love to see what they are watching to see this behavior because if its any kind of Australian football or sporting event of any kind really, they are probably getting a pretty good glimpse at how much Australians can really drink. They get belligerent, distasteful and aggressive and are supremely proud of it. The British can probably down a little more then the casual Aussie but you will be hard pressed to drink one under the table because even if they think they will lose, they wont stop. They will drink till their hand can’t lift another beer to their mouth and all the while ranting “Aussie, Aussie, Aussie. Oi, Oi ,Oi!!”.
I can’t wait to go back to Australia (2 weeks) and share with you all the 10 most frequently asked questions I get from Australians about the States.
Peace!
Monday, March 19, 2007
weekend
My weekend was fairly eventful and I thought I would share the ups and downs that was my weekend.
*Friday afternoon I went home early from work. I was sick, err, sick enough to leave work early Friday. This sickness continued to bite me in the ass throughout my weekend, being the only thing to really PISS ME OFF over the past few days.
*The weather was absolutely perfect the entire weekend. 75-80 degrees, for those of you not in the know of the Fahrenheit scale, it is a delightful 22-25 degrees Celsius.
*I bought a motorbike Saturday morning to the dismay of many around me who tell me bikes are dangerous, blah-yada-yada-blah, etc,etc. I know, I don’t care, whadoya gotta say now? Shut up! I get my prized possession on Thursday. Perfect timing for the weekend.
*I went on a shopping spree. Ripping through every store I touched and leaving a trail of empty shelves behind me. I haven’t been on a rampage in a long time so it felt good to swing my fists at any price tag I looked at. At one point Louie had to slap me because I was snarling at approaching would be challengers who looked like they may snatch an article of clothing I was drooling over.
*I cleaned my house! This may seem fairly insignificant to some but for me, the relief of having everything clean and tidy is possibly one of the most supremely magnificent feelings of euphoria in the world. I dusted, mopped, vacuumed, had my carpets professionally shampooed, washed, ironed and tidied up all in one day. I celebrated with a spew in the cleanly minted toilet. Lesson for the kids – you shouldn’t clean houses when you have the flu.
I will say though, both the spew and clean house did make me feel better.
*Mijo is only one week away from puppy education class graduation. THANK GOD!! I am sick (not sick as in sick but sick as in fed up) of spending my Sunday afternoons in a stupid room with dumb barking dogs. The class has been worth the pretty penny I paid if only for Mijo being able to give me 5 when I put my hand up to him. How cool is that?! He can also fart on call.
*I took my mum to the airport Saturday afternoon for her journey back to Australia. It was good to see her but it was also good to see her go. We have a love/hate relationship.
*Louie and I took Mijo to the park after his class as a reward for his hard work which he enjoyed a lot. But, there were a bunch of lil fuker kids around the age of 15 who thought they were the coolest things since sliced bread. I don’t remember being such a snot-faced-turd-stainer when I was that age. Please, if anyone recalls me being this way plz inform me so I can crawl back under my bridge.
Also, I have changed the name of my blog to something more appropriate and with a little more relevance. I will let you all (do not think that the word ‘ALL’ and the amount of people who comment on my blog have any correlation) know why soon.
Peace
ps. I am taking the day off work tomorrow to go snowboarding!!!!!!!!!!
*Friday afternoon I went home early from work. I was sick, err, sick enough to leave work early Friday. This sickness continued to bite me in the ass throughout my weekend, being the only thing to really PISS ME OFF over the past few days.
*The weather was absolutely perfect the entire weekend. 75-80 degrees, for those of you not in the know of the Fahrenheit scale, it is a delightful 22-25 degrees Celsius.
*I bought a motorbike Saturday morning to the dismay of many around me who tell me bikes are dangerous, blah-yada-yada-blah, etc,etc. I know, I don’t care, whadoya gotta say now? Shut up! I get my prized possession on Thursday. Perfect timing for the weekend.
*I went on a shopping spree. Ripping through every store I touched and leaving a trail of empty shelves behind me. I haven’t been on a rampage in a long time so it felt good to swing my fists at any price tag I looked at. At one point Louie had to slap me because I was snarling at approaching would be challengers who looked like they may snatch an article of clothing I was drooling over.
*I cleaned my house! This may seem fairly insignificant to some but for me, the relief of having everything clean and tidy is possibly one of the most supremely magnificent feelings of euphoria in the world. I dusted, mopped, vacuumed, had my carpets professionally shampooed, washed, ironed and tidied up all in one day. I celebrated with a spew in the cleanly minted toilet. Lesson for the kids – you shouldn’t clean houses when you have the flu.
I will say though, both the spew and clean house did make me feel better.
*Mijo is only one week away from puppy education class graduation. THANK GOD!! I am sick (not sick as in sick but sick as in fed up) of spending my Sunday afternoons in a stupid room with dumb barking dogs. The class has been worth the pretty penny I paid if only for Mijo being able to give me 5 when I put my hand up to him. How cool is that?! He can also fart on call.
*I took my mum to the airport Saturday afternoon for her journey back to Australia. It was good to see her but it was also good to see her go. We have a love/hate relationship.
*Louie and I took Mijo to the park after his class as a reward for his hard work which he enjoyed a lot. But, there were a bunch of lil fuker kids around the age of 15 who thought they were the coolest things since sliced bread. I don’t remember being such a snot-faced-turd-stainer when I was that age. Please, if anyone recalls me being this way plz inform me so I can crawl back under my bridge.
Also, I have changed the name of my blog to something more appropriate and with a little more relevance. I will let you all (do not think that the word ‘ALL’ and the amount of people who comment on my blog have any correlation) know why soon.
Peace
ps. I am taking the day off work tomorrow to go snowboarding!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Breaking up
I was minding my own business at Taco Bell. I rarely eat there because the food is suspiciously cheap and the ingredients have nutritional value of a rubber tire but today was different. Today I was looking for a new car. So a quick lunch was in order. My cousin who was to sell me his BMW X5 has now pulled his offer off the table, leaving me with little hope to find such a quality car for such a good deal.
As I was sitting in their dining room eating my soft chicken taco a young girl had sat down two tables infront of me. She was on the phone and talking to a friend. “Justin has brought this on himself. I’m sick of this”. She wasn’t happy with this Justin fellow and as I eavesdropped more it was obvious Justin was her doomed boyfriend.
There was another guy sitting a couple of tables from Drama Queen who it seemed was taking just as much interest as I was. He wasn’t trying to hide the fact that he was blatantly skewing his head to hear the conversation. I wouldn’t be surprised if he could hear the person on the other end of the line. “I’m doing it today” she said. “I am nervous but I have had the talk with myself, im ready”, leading me to believe she has some black paint under her eyes and a cape under the table for a quick escape.
Just as I was about to get up, Drama Queen sheiks “He’s here, I gotta go. Ill let you know how it goes”. This is getting interesting. Maybe I better take a few more bites of my taco. As breakup boy enters and sits, awkwardness ensues. Some smiles, some frowns but relative calm. She looks over breakup boy’s shoulder and catches me sneaking a peak. I turn away for only a second. This is like a real life Days of Our Lives and im a part of it.
Eavesdropper is almost falling off his chair; breakup boy is wondering why the tension and Drama Queen is trying to muster the courage for a clean breakup. Its never that easy it is? Someone always gets hurt and in this case poor breakup boy seems to be the victim of poor relationship management.
This continues for a good ten minutes. This would never happen in Days of Our Lives. Someone would be crying by now or saying they had sex with their brother/sister. I've had enough.
As I walk out it seems eavesdropper can’t bare it any longer either, although, instead of walking towards the door he walks toward the doomed couple and sadly yet proudly affirms to breakup boy “dude she’s breaking up with you bro”.
GASP! Did he? Oh my god! He did her dirty work!! She quickly turns to breakup boy and let’s a weird high pitched noise heard only at funerals and weddings where the groom says the wrong name at the alter. I can only see breakup boy from behind but I could see his body tense up, his shoulders roll forward and then let at a whimper that I think said “whaaa?”.
Eavesdropper was out the door at this time, myself not too far behind. I didn’t hear much else after that because I was already standing. I couldn’t sit back down again to hear the rest, unfortunately. Trust me, if I could have I would of grabbed a bag of popcorn and begged for a grand finish.
All I heard on the way out was “who the fuck was that Bec?”
“I have no idea” she sighs.
As I was sitting in their dining room eating my soft chicken taco a young girl had sat down two tables infront of me. She was on the phone and talking to a friend. “Justin has brought this on himself. I’m sick of this”. She wasn’t happy with this Justin fellow and as I eavesdropped more it was obvious Justin was her doomed boyfriend.
There was another guy sitting a couple of tables from Drama Queen who it seemed was taking just as much interest as I was. He wasn’t trying to hide the fact that he was blatantly skewing his head to hear the conversation. I wouldn’t be surprised if he could hear the person on the other end of the line. “I’m doing it today” she said. “I am nervous but I have had the talk with myself, im ready”, leading me to believe she has some black paint under her eyes and a cape under the table for a quick escape.
Just as I was about to get up, Drama Queen sheiks “He’s here, I gotta go. Ill let you know how it goes”. This is getting interesting. Maybe I better take a few more bites of my taco. As breakup boy enters and sits, awkwardness ensues. Some smiles, some frowns but relative calm. She looks over breakup boy’s shoulder and catches me sneaking a peak. I turn away for only a second. This is like a real life Days of Our Lives and im a part of it.
Eavesdropper is almost falling off his chair; breakup boy is wondering why the tension and Drama Queen is trying to muster the courage for a clean breakup. Its never that easy it is? Someone always gets hurt and in this case poor breakup boy seems to be the victim of poor relationship management.
This continues for a good ten minutes. This would never happen in Days of Our Lives. Someone would be crying by now or saying they had sex with their brother/sister. I've had enough.
As I walk out it seems eavesdropper can’t bare it any longer either, although, instead of walking towards the door he walks toward the doomed couple and sadly yet proudly affirms to breakup boy “dude she’s breaking up with you bro”.
GASP! Did he? Oh my god! He did her dirty work!! She quickly turns to breakup boy and let’s a weird high pitched noise heard only at funerals and weddings where the groom says the wrong name at the alter. I can only see breakup boy from behind but I could see his body tense up, his shoulders roll forward and then let at a whimper that I think said “whaaa?”.
Eavesdropper was out the door at this time, myself not too far behind. I didn’t hear much else after that because I was already standing. I couldn’t sit back down again to hear the rest, unfortunately. Trust me, if I could have I would of grabbed a bag of popcorn and begged for a grand finish.
All I heard on the way out was “who the fuck was that Bec?”
“I have no idea” she sighs.
Monday, March 12, 2007
dismay of today and drey's
Such a beautiful day outside and I am stuck inside an office staring at a computer screen. I have nothing more to write then my misfortune so if you choose to not be brought down with me please exit now.
*I am hung over from Saturday night which makes today especially difficult to bare
*My feet are unbelievable hot. I feel like there are midgets in my shoes shoveling coal onto fire
*I’m at the tiredness where my face goes all oily and yuk. I just want to lay in bed and watch 'Heroes' tonight
*but first I must go to dinner with my mum from Australia at Tahoe Joe's steak house
*Actually im quite hungry so Tahoe Joe's isn’t such a bad idea
*If only I had ice for my feet
*and a masseuse for my neck
*You’d be surprised at how noisy the hum of a photocopier is if you listen hard enough
*I’m sick of trying to get enough cash so I can get a new car. I am almost there.
*If only I could go outside and play with the birds
That brings me to a conversation I had with a work-mate last week. He asked me if I knew where squirrel’s lived. I had no idea but I ventured to convince him that I knew and quickly declared that squirrels lived in trees. Well, I was right, but not only do they live in trees but they build a quaint little house in there too called a drey. Did you know that?
Now that I know what they live in I kind of feel sorry for birds. See, squirrels live in what is basically a bird house with a roof. It’s made from sticks, twigs and funny earthly parts rolled into a emptied out ball. There is one outside my window. Now every time I drive past a tree I look for a drey. Those squirrels are quite a resourceful lot.
This post got off topic. I’m still mad at today. I must say though, the thought of a squirrel building a drey for his family is quite inspiring. I should build a house of my own.
*I am hung over from Saturday night which makes today especially difficult to bare
*My feet are unbelievable hot. I feel like there are midgets in my shoes shoveling coal onto fire
*I’m at the tiredness where my face goes all oily and yuk. I just want to lay in bed and watch 'Heroes' tonight
*but first I must go to dinner with my mum from Australia at Tahoe Joe's steak house
*Actually im quite hungry so Tahoe Joe's isn’t such a bad idea
*If only I had ice for my feet
*and a masseuse for my neck
*You’d be surprised at how noisy the hum of a photocopier is if you listen hard enough
*I’m sick of trying to get enough cash so I can get a new car. I am almost there.
*If only I could go outside and play with the birds
That brings me to a conversation I had with a work-mate last week. He asked me if I knew where squirrel’s lived. I had no idea but I ventured to convince him that I knew and quickly declared that squirrels lived in trees. Well, I was right, but not only do they live in trees but they build a quaint little house in there too called a drey. Did you know that?
Now that I know what they live in I kind of feel sorry for birds. See, squirrels live in what is basically a bird house with a roof. It’s made from sticks, twigs and funny earthly parts rolled into a emptied out ball. There is one outside my window. Now every time I drive past a tree I look for a drey. Those squirrels are quite a resourceful lot.
This post got off topic. I’m still mad at today. I must say though, the thought of a squirrel building a drey for his family is quite inspiring. I should build a house of my own.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Big Rocks
I’ve always been big on sports. My mum always said that I grew up with a ball in my hand. It didn’t matter if it was a tennis ball, basketball, football or cricket ball, so long as I had a ball I would toss it around and to be frank with you all; I probably spent a lot more time playing with balls (not those balls) then I did doing homework.
I never quite made it to the NBA like I had envisioned and I am certainly not paying off my mortgage by throwing any type of balls around. I know, it’s sad isn’t it? I am stuck in a life where I my dreams have been crushed.
All is not lost though. Fortunately I did have a back-up plan and so far I am living the back-up. In fact the only thing missing from ‘the dream’ is a contract with the Sacramento Kings so I can’t complain.
Back to the topic. Recently I realized that every sport I have attempted to master have been fairly risk free. There is no chance of me falling down and having my body crushed under the weight of itself playing basketball or having a limb ripped form its rightful place by striking a tennis ball.
I guess I have always thought that people who sky dive, climb rocks and glide through the air have come to the inevitable conclusion that they will die doing these ‘sports’ and have accepted that. Whether I am scared or I just don’t want to die; I have been reluctant to try any of these until recently.
A work-mate of mine is an avid boulderer/rock climber. He often goes to Yosemite National Park and climbs rocks. He and I work out religiously after work basically every day and he has come up with a devilish angle to get me out of my comfort zone and onto a big rock.
‘Its great for your back muscles’ he says. ‘It hits tiny areas you wouldn’t even think you had’ he pushes further, as I scan his desk for something to play with. I often go to his desk to play with his thumb thimble. You’d be amazed at what I can do with a thimble. ‘Those types of sports are too dangerous for me. How can you have fun when you know your life is hanging in the balance? If you let go its over’ I shoot back.
I try and make my way to his desk whenever my legs need a stretch or I have a question for him so this particular occasion was no different then the rest but it got me thinking. I’ve always been one to live on the edge. Spontaneous was always something I prided myself on being but living here in the States has taken some of that away from me. Maybe I needed something a little daring in my life. I trip to beautiful NY or an adventure through South America.
All a little too expensive right now, particularly now that I fly back to Australia in four weeks for my much anticipated vacation with friends and family. Instead I have decided to get on that rock and climb until I hit the top. For if I don’t, I shall plummet to the ground of the beginners rocks and be carried away to first aid to recount my 8 foot drop.
If I do happen to make it up safely I will be sure to snap a few pictures for you all, that is if the elevation of my climb doesn’t restrict my breathing.
I never quite made it to the NBA like I had envisioned and I am certainly not paying off my mortgage by throwing any type of balls around. I know, it’s sad isn’t it? I am stuck in a life where I my dreams have been crushed.
All is not lost though. Fortunately I did have a back-up plan and so far I am living the back-up. In fact the only thing missing from ‘the dream’ is a contract with the Sacramento Kings so I can’t complain.
Back to the topic. Recently I realized that every sport I have attempted to master have been fairly risk free. There is no chance of me falling down and having my body crushed under the weight of itself playing basketball or having a limb ripped form its rightful place by striking a tennis ball.
I guess I have always thought that people who sky dive, climb rocks and glide through the air have come to the inevitable conclusion that they will die doing these ‘sports’ and have accepted that. Whether I am scared or I just don’t want to die; I have been reluctant to try any of these until recently.
A work-mate of mine is an avid boulderer/rock climber. He often goes to Yosemite National Park and climbs rocks. He and I work out religiously after work basically every day and he has come up with a devilish angle to get me out of my comfort zone and onto a big rock.
‘Its great for your back muscles’ he says. ‘It hits tiny areas you wouldn’t even think you had’ he pushes further, as I scan his desk for something to play with. I often go to his desk to play with his thumb thimble. You’d be amazed at what I can do with a thimble. ‘Those types of sports are too dangerous for me. How can you have fun when you know your life is hanging in the balance? If you let go its over’ I shoot back.
I try and make my way to his desk whenever my legs need a stretch or I have a question for him so this particular occasion was no different then the rest but it got me thinking. I’ve always been one to live on the edge. Spontaneous was always something I prided myself on being but living here in the States has taken some of that away from me. Maybe I needed something a little daring in my life. I trip to beautiful NY or an adventure through South America.
All a little too expensive right now, particularly now that I fly back to Australia in four weeks for my much anticipated vacation with friends and family. Instead I have decided to get on that rock and climb until I hit the top. For if I don’t, I shall plummet to the ground of the beginners rocks and be carried away to first aid to recount my 8 foot drop.
If I do happen to make it up safely I will be sure to snap a few pictures for you all, that is if the elevation of my climb doesn’t restrict my breathing.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
sneaky
I got a call from my grandma last night.
‘Neily can you come over? I need to speak with you. Its very important’ she said in a frail voice barely audible through my cell phone. We often have trouble speaking to each other over the phone because I have an accent she can hardly understand (even though she was born in Australia and her sisters and brother live there) and she has a voice that is so quiet that she could fool one of those animals that can hear their predators from miles away – I cant think of any!
‘Ok, grandma. Is everything alright? Ill be there after work. Around 5:15pm’ with that I hung up the phone and wondered why she would make such a call. She never calls me, for the very reason I mentioned before so I usually just pop over once a week to say hello to her and my ailing grandpa who is riddled with cancer and has deteriorated so much he thinks he is still on the Air Force some 60 years after retirement.
The next day at work I had a field trip to one of our projects to assess what the recent storm had done and on the way I figured I would stop by grandmas house to see what the previous nights phone all was about.
Ding dong…
The door opens and standing before me is my mum. She sneaked into the country without anyone knowing, both of us startled because she was expecting me at 5:15pm and I was expecting the maid.
Grandma had mischievisly called me to come over so I would be surprised by mum. Everyone had gotten a shock but I was particularly happy for my grandparents because my grandpa is bored and has nothing to do all day and my grandma is finding things hard to deal with because she is lonely being with a man who doesn’t remember her or what they last had a conversation about.
My mum is here for 2 ½ weeks. She is sure to get on my nerves but I think I can handle it so long as she gives my grandpa his second wind and gives grandma some conversation worth remembering.
‘Neily can you come over? I need to speak with you. Its very important’ she said in a frail voice barely audible through my cell phone. We often have trouble speaking to each other over the phone because I have an accent she can hardly understand (even though she was born in Australia and her sisters and brother live there) and she has a voice that is so quiet that she could fool one of those animals that can hear their predators from miles away – I cant think of any!
‘Ok, grandma. Is everything alright? Ill be there after work. Around 5:15pm’ with that I hung up the phone and wondered why she would make such a call. She never calls me, for the very reason I mentioned before so I usually just pop over once a week to say hello to her and my ailing grandpa who is riddled with cancer and has deteriorated so much he thinks he is still on the Air Force some 60 years after retirement.
The next day at work I had a field trip to one of our projects to assess what the recent storm had done and on the way I figured I would stop by grandmas house to see what the previous nights phone all was about.
Ding dong…
The door opens and standing before me is my mum. She sneaked into the country without anyone knowing, both of us startled because she was expecting me at 5:15pm and I was expecting the maid.
Grandma had mischievisly called me to come over so I would be surprised by mum. Everyone had gotten a shock but I was particularly happy for my grandparents because my grandpa is bored and has nothing to do all day and my grandma is finding things hard to deal with because she is lonely being with a man who doesn’t remember her or what they last had a conversation about.
My mum is here for 2 ½ weeks. She is sure to get on my nerves but I think I can handle it so long as she gives my grandpa his second wind and gives grandma some conversation worth remembering.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Home Sweet Home
I’m going back to Australia in 7 weeks. It’s been 14 months since I was there last so there is an excitement in the air I haven’t experienced since I traveled around the world. I will be doing a 16 day tour of Brisbane, Sydney and their surrounding areas with stops in Noosa, Gold Coast and if time permits, The Great Barrier Reef.
My whole life I have lived by the old adage that ‘the grass is always greener’ and so far every time I have made choice to see if in fact the grass was greener, it has been. So, now that I am living in California where the beaches are long and white and the people welcome you with open arms all I can think about is how much I want to be back on the year-round warm beaches of Noosa or Mooloolaba with my friends doing absolutely nothing.
No matter how much green grass here there will never be whiter sand then that on the beaches of Australia.
Five years ago I was lucky enough to be blessed with an opportunity to travel through Europe, United States and Asia. The lure and prestige of the Greek Islands, South Beach and others seemed such an elusive destination and one I thought I would never see. Now that I have, as beautiful as they are, none compare to the Aussie beach of Mooloolaba that has so affectionately named its restroom sitting atop the beach overlooking the Pacific Ocean ‘loo with a view’. Ahh now if that doesn’t show the class and prestige that it deserves then I don’t know what does.
It is the great Aussie spirit that I am most looking forward to seeing from its people.
My whole life I have lived by the old adage that ‘the grass is always greener’ and so far every time I have made choice to see if in fact the grass was greener, it has been. So, now that I am living in California where the beaches are long and white and the people welcome you with open arms all I can think about is how much I want to be back on the year-round warm beaches of Noosa or Mooloolaba with my friends doing absolutely nothing.
No matter how much green grass here there will never be whiter sand then that on the beaches of Australia.
Five years ago I was lucky enough to be blessed with an opportunity to travel through Europe, United States and Asia. The lure and prestige of the Greek Islands, South Beach and others seemed such an elusive destination and one I thought I would never see. Now that I have, as beautiful as they are, none compare to the Aussie beach of Mooloolaba that has so affectionately named its restroom sitting atop the beach overlooking the Pacific Ocean ‘loo with a view’. Ahh now if that doesn’t show the class and prestige that it deserves then I don’t know what does.
It is the great Aussie spirit that I am most looking forward to seeing from its people.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Big Bucks
Today is a big day for all of us here in the office. We have investors flying in from the Netherlands to inspect our offices, evaluate our land value and complete their due diligence. If all goes to plan they are going to invest $75 million with another $125 million to follow from other investors.
Its all very interesting to see how it works. See, if the Dutch don’t come on board it will have a domino effect that will filter down to the smaller investors who will also pull out. Basically what the Dutch are doing not only for themselves but also every other investor is providing a due diligence strategy that will be used as a benchmark for success.
If the Dutch are willing to invest $75 million based on the information we have provided then wouldn’t the smaller investors follow suite? Yes. If they don’t invest then why would the smaller investors want to throw their money at us? They wouldn’t. So, cross your fingers, toes and anything else you have to cross for us because today is a BIG BIG day for my firm.
Its all very interesting to see how it works. See, if the Dutch don’t come on board it will have a domino effect that will filter down to the smaller investors who will also pull out. Basically what the Dutch are doing not only for themselves but also every other investor is providing a due diligence strategy that will be used as a benchmark for success.
If the Dutch are willing to invest $75 million based on the information we have provided then wouldn’t the smaller investors follow suite? Yes. If they don’t invest then why would the smaller investors want to throw their money at us? They wouldn’t. So, cross your fingers, toes and anything else you have to cross for us because today is a BIG BIG day for my firm.
Friday, February 02, 2007
Good ol' days
Louie and I were in the bed last night, forever trying to catch up on sleep, we had gone relatively early at 10:20pm. Sometimes when I go to bed early im not quite ready to fall asleep so random thoughts pop into my head of the weirdest things and last night was one of them.
When I was in tenth grade (almost 10 years ago, yikes!) myself and two of my friends would always get off the bus after school and go to the Video store across the street appropriately named ‘Video Ezy’. We would go in there and walk around, talk to the staff, play games, whatever. It was great. We had a fun time just hanging out ‘shootin the shit’.
While waiting for the bus on a hot afternoon at school we had come up with a devilish plan to embezzle some pornographic videos for our very own viewing. While on the bus we had drawn up a plan of attack that was fool proof. We would go in, take off the security tags, place them in someone’s backpack and do away with the videos without anyone seeing. I said it was fool proof!
Somehow Cameron was chosen as the designated video carrier. Looking back, there was no more difficult job or function of the plan that was more important then his and he possessed the most risk of any of us because he was the one who would ultimately be carrying out the stolen goods.
Maybe that’s why he agreed to be the lead in the bungled heist. He was to be the messiah who brought us hours of pleasure and we would be forever indebted to him. Sounded good to him, all he had to do was walk out of the store.
Once we were in the store we had made eye contact and agreed today would be the day. With a slight nod and a quick shuffle to the back of the store we were quickly undressing the videos of any tags, markings or such that would make the beepers go off.
After stuffing the videos into Cameron’s bag, Dj and I walked first through the security detectors as though this would secure his escape unharmed. As the two of us walked out through the electric opening doors we heard a piercing alarm. Cameron had made it half way through the detectors and somehow, somewhere a tag had gone unseen on one of the videos.
From that point on things seemed to go in slow motion. Dj and I both looked back to see Cameron looking at us with a pained look on his face of confusion and fear. His shoulders were shrugged up, his hands in the air as if to say ‘what happened? Our plan was fool proof!’. He probably weighed his options for about 2 seconds and im sure today he would agree that his decision thereafter was not the best ‘clutch’ decision he has ever made.
To the two villains who had miraculously escaped unharmed, Dj and I then saw Cameron running past, looking at us with a backpack full of illegal merchandise screaming ‘what do I do? What do I do? I’m screwed!! Oh my god, I am in SO MUCH trouble!!’
The manager of the store knew Dj pretty well so she quickly asked Dave to ‘Chase that boy, he’s stealing something!’ so Dj, caught between acting like he played no part in the act and not wanting to citizens arrest a friend did the thing that any friend would do, he ran up to Cameron and said ‘You have gone too far now, you have to keep running and act like I tried to catch you’.
So Cameron run all the way home. The manager had already called Cameron’s mother once he had made it home. It turns out the manager had called the school and through a process of elimination had pinned him for the hit. He was busted, served a good portion of his summer cleaning up the store and its surrounding gardens without neither Dj nor I ever being accessories to the crime. Thank you Cameron!
…………………….
This story took me a good twenty minutes to tell Louie because I was laughing so hard I couldn’t contain myself. Its great to be able to look back at your younger years and laugh so hard you are in fits. It truly was an instance where the cliché ‘the good ‘ol days’ held its weight.
When I was in tenth grade (almost 10 years ago, yikes!) myself and two of my friends would always get off the bus after school and go to the Video store across the street appropriately named ‘Video Ezy’. We would go in there and walk around, talk to the staff, play games, whatever. It was great. We had a fun time just hanging out ‘shootin the shit’.
While waiting for the bus on a hot afternoon at school we had come up with a devilish plan to embezzle some pornographic videos for our very own viewing. While on the bus we had drawn up a plan of attack that was fool proof. We would go in, take off the security tags, place them in someone’s backpack and do away with the videos without anyone seeing. I said it was fool proof!
Somehow Cameron was chosen as the designated video carrier. Looking back, there was no more difficult job or function of the plan that was more important then his and he possessed the most risk of any of us because he was the one who would ultimately be carrying out the stolen goods.
Maybe that’s why he agreed to be the lead in the bungled heist. He was to be the messiah who brought us hours of pleasure and we would be forever indebted to him. Sounded good to him, all he had to do was walk out of the store.
Once we were in the store we had made eye contact and agreed today would be the day. With a slight nod and a quick shuffle to the back of the store we were quickly undressing the videos of any tags, markings or such that would make the beepers go off.
After stuffing the videos into Cameron’s bag, Dj and I walked first through the security detectors as though this would secure his escape unharmed. As the two of us walked out through the electric opening doors we heard a piercing alarm. Cameron had made it half way through the detectors and somehow, somewhere a tag had gone unseen on one of the videos.
From that point on things seemed to go in slow motion. Dj and I both looked back to see Cameron looking at us with a pained look on his face of confusion and fear. His shoulders were shrugged up, his hands in the air as if to say ‘what happened? Our plan was fool proof!’. He probably weighed his options for about 2 seconds and im sure today he would agree that his decision thereafter was not the best ‘clutch’ decision he has ever made.
To the two villains who had miraculously escaped unharmed, Dj and I then saw Cameron running past, looking at us with a backpack full of illegal merchandise screaming ‘what do I do? What do I do? I’m screwed!! Oh my god, I am in SO MUCH trouble!!’
The manager of the store knew Dj pretty well so she quickly asked Dave to ‘Chase that boy, he’s stealing something!’ so Dj, caught between acting like he played no part in the act and not wanting to citizens arrest a friend did the thing that any friend would do, he ran up to Cameron and said ‘You have gone too far now, you have to keep running and act like I tried to catch you’.
So Cameron run all the way home. The manager had already called Cameron’s mother once he had made it home. It turns out the manager had called the school and through a process of elimination had pinned him for the hit. He was busted, served a good portion of his summer cleaning up the store and its surrounding gardens without neither Dj nor I ever being accessories to the crime. Thank you Cameron!
…………………….
This story took me a good twenty minutes to tell Louie because I was laughing so hard I couldn’t contain myself. Its great to be able to look back at your younger years and laugh so hard you are in fits. It truly was an instance where the cliché ‘the good ‘ol days’ held its weight.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
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